Divorce can be overwhelming for all members of the family. When children are involved, it can seem as though this problem is intensified. With this in mind, it’s always best to ensure that you are guiding your children through the divorce process. The key is to make the process easier for them. They don’t have to suffer the emotional aspects of a family breakdown.
Make it Clear That the Divorce is Not Their Fault
When it comes to matters of children and divorce, children seem to think that divorce is their fault. Reassure them that it isn’t. If the details aren’t too gory, explain the reasons why you are getting divorced. Say that you are still friends, but you don’t love each other anymore. Make sure that your child knows that they are not to blame.
Don’t Badmouth the Ex
Okay, so divorce is not always amicable. But, strive only to say positive things about your ex in front of your children. After all, your ex is their parent. Don’t badmouth them in front of them or publicly.
The Key is to Have Good Relationships
Make sure that your kids have a great relationship with you and your ex. Try to be amicable where possible. If you and your ex cannot be amicable, do ensure that your children have a positive relationship with both parents.
Be Honest: There is No Chance That You’re Getting Back Together
Kids often feel that they can ‘bring their parents back together’. We all know that this isn’t going to happen. Be firm but fair and explain that there is zero chance of you reuniting. Try not to hurt their feelings, but do manage their expectations. Often children live in hope that their parents will get back together.
Let Your Children Express Their Feelings
Encourage open discussion with your kids. Allow them to be honest about how they feel about the divorce. This ensures that they feel supported during this difficult time.
Establish Fun, New Rituals
Children often cannot cope with divorce as it disrupts their routine. Make sure that you implement a new fun routine. You don’t have to be lax on the rules. But, make sure that its fun.
Maybe Introduce a New Pet
A pet is so much more than just a ‘pet’. A pet can give your child someone to talk to, privately. They can be an excellent emotional crutch.
The Answer Can Lie in Therapy
If your child is suffering from behavioural problems due to the divorce, encourage them to speak with a therapist. This will ensure that they get all negative feelings out in the open, with an unbiased viewpoint.
Manage Your Kids Expectations
Always invite your ex to the kid’s birthday parties. Present a united front to your children. This will ensure that your children are happy and can manage their own expectations about adult relationships.
Take Care of Yourself
Make sure that you are taking care of yourself. A happy parent passes off good vibes to her kids. If you’re stressed, the kids will be too.
Put Your Child First
While you may want to meet someone new, this can be emotionally overwhelming for a child. Put yourself in their shoes. Make sure that you are considering their feelings.
Consult Forums and Online Communities
Online communities can provide a wealth of different shared experiences on family breakdown. Consult them for tips and advice.